lying perfectly still in bed so your partner doesn't feel you shaking while you silently rehearse an apology you will never say

The Dawn Does Not Wait For Perfection

The sun is finding the edge of the curtains, turning the dark into a soft gray that you can finally see through. You have been holding your breath so your partner wouldn't feel the shaking, rehearsing words in the silence that you know you will never speak.

But the morning does not wait for your apology to arrive. It comes anyway.

The light is already in the room, not because you earned it by being still, but because it rises on its own accord. There is a saying that if you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you.

And if you do not, the silence will destroy you. You do not have to speak it all today.

You only have to stop hiding the trembling. The dawn is not asking for your perfection.

It is asking for your presence.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas, Matthew

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