watching a home video and realizing the version of you that your family loved and laughed with no longer exists inside your skin

The Light Knows How to Carry Weight

The screen glows in the quiet room, showing a face you barely recognize now. That version of you laughed so easily, moved so lightly, before the weight settled into your bones and changed the architecture of your smile.

You watch them with a strange grief, mourning the person who used to live inside your skin while the current you sits still in the dim light, too tired to perform joy for anyone. But listen — the light does not require you to be who you were yesterday.

It is not waiting for the old laughter to return before it calls you beloved. The same light that danced in those old eyes is burning quietly in this exhausted heart right now.

You have not lost the light; you have only grown heavier, and the light knows how to carry weight. The version of you on the screen was real, but the version of you breathing through this exhale is where the light lives today.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas 77, Luke 24:32

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