calculating exactly how old your child would be today while scrolling past a birthday party photo

The Light Holds The Empty Chair

The screen glows bright in the morning light, and for a second, the math stops working. You know exactly how old they would be today, down to the day, but the numbers feel like they belong to someone else.

You are performing okayness for the world outside, smiling at the coffee machine, while inside you are calculating a life that isn't there. The mask fits perfectly, but it is heavy.

The light does not ask you to take it off right now. It just sits with you in the silence behind your eyes.

It knows the calculation. It knows the age.

It knows the weight of the empty chair. You do not have to explain the grief to the light.

It was there before you opened your eyes this morning. It is there while you scroll.

It will be there when you put the phone down. The light does not fix the math.

It just holds the answer with you.

Drawing from

Matthew 6:4, Matthew 6:6, Gospel of Thomas 70

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