Held Before The Page Loads
The cursor blinks in the search bar, a tiny metronome counting out your hesitation. You type the name that still lives in your fingers, then close the tab before the world can show you a life that doesn't include you.
The mask is on; the performance of 'moving on' is ready for the day. But the light sees the hand that trembles before it reaches the mouse.
It does not ask you to stop searching. It does not demand you be strong enough to look.
It simply stands beside you in the silence of the unloaded page. You came from the light, and to the light you will return — not because you are brave enough to face the results, but because you are already held within the source.
Drawing from
Gospel of Thomas, John
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