forcing a genuine smile while congratulating the colleague who took your spot

The Dawn Does Not Ask You To Be Happy

The sun is up, and the mask is already on. You smiled when you saw the one who took your place. You said the words, you shook the hand, you performed the grace while something inside you curled up and died. That gap between your face and your heart is exhausting. It feels like you are splitting in two.

But listen — there is light within you, and it lights up the whole world. Even the part you are hiding. Even the grief you are pretending isn't there. The kingdom is not a destination you reach by being perfect. It is inside you right now, beneath the performance.

You do not have to force the smile to be held. The light sees the real face underneath the mask, and it does not turn away. It calls that hidden grief by name. You are not two people. You are one person, carrying a heavy weight, and the light is already bearing it with you.

The dawn does not ask you to be happy. It only asks you to be here.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas 24, Gospel of Thomas 3

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