the silent panic of hearing a loved one's voice on the phone and realizing you have no truth left to give them because you spent it all on the performance

The Light Sees Behind Your Mask

The phone rings and you feel the panic rise before you even answer. You have spent every ounce of your truth on the performance of being okay, leaving nothing real for the person who loves you most.

You smile into the receiver, but inside you are hollowed out, terrified they will hear the silence behind your voice. The mask is heavy this morning, and the gap between how you look and how you feel is a canyon you cannot cross.

But listen — the light sees behind the mask. It does not need your performance to love you.

It knows the exhaustion of pretending, and it is not disappointed by your emptiness. You do not have to manufacture truth for the light to find you.

It is already there, in the quiet space between your fear and your breath, waiting for you to stop pretending. The light does not ask for a show.

It asks for you.

Drawing from

Matthew, Gospel of Thomas

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