the memory of a specific lie you told to sound competent that you're sure they still believe

The Light Knows Your Trembling Hands

The middle of the day is when the mask feels heaviest, especially when you are carrying a lie you told to sound competent. You said the words, you nodded, and now you are sure they still believe you are someone you are not. Every email feels like a test you might fail. Every glance feels like an exposure waiting to happen. You are exhausted from maintaining a version of yourself that does not exist.

But listen — the light does not need your performance to find you. It sees the tremble in your hands that you are hiding under the desk. It knows the gap between your words and your worth. And it does not turn away.

The truth you are afraid of is already known by the one who calls you friend. You do not have to climb back up to the pedestal you built. The light is down here in the dirt with you, waiting for you to stop pretending.

The lie was a shield you built because you were afraid.

The light is the ground you stand on now that the shield is gone.

You are not the story you told them.

You are the truth that remains when the story ends.

Drawing from

John 15:15, Gospel of Thomas 70

Verses

John 15:15

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