the terrifying suspicion that you are incapable of loving anyone because you don't know who is doing the loving

Let the Light Shine Through Cracks

The mask is on. You are smiling at the coworker, nodding at the friend, performing the motions of care while a cold suspicion grows in your chest: you don't know who is actually doing the loving.

Is it you? Or is it just a reflex, a hollow echo of something you read once?

The world demands you produce love from your own empty hands, and when you can't find the source, you panic. But the kingdom is not a performance you must generate.

It is inside you, and it is outside you. When you come to know yourself, you will be known.

You are not the origin of the love. You are the place where the love lives.

Stop trying to manufacture the light and simply let it shine through the cracks in the mask.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas, John

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