the sudden, sharp terror that you are betraying them by laughing fully at a joke they told, because the laughter feels like moving on

Joy Is Not A Betrayal Of Love

The laughter caught you off guard. It rose up before you could stop it, full and bright, and then the terror hit: if I can laugh, have I left them behind?

You are wearing the mask of okayness while your heart breaks all over again. But joy is not a betrayal.

It is not a stone thrown at their memory. The light that made them is the same light that lets you breathe this morning.

Even in the middle of the joke, even with the smile still on your face, you are holding them. The love does not vanish because the grief paused for a second.

You can laugh and still carry them. The light knows how to hold both.

Drawing from

John 16:22, Luke 24:32

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