the sudden, sharp terror that if you finally stop performing strength, everyone you love will realize you are broken and leave you

He Ran to the Mess Before You Spoke

The house is quiet now, and the mask you wore all day feels like it's cracking under the weight of your own silence. You are terrified that if you finally stop performing strength, the people you love will see the broken pieces and walk away.

But listen — the light does not love you for your composure. It loves you because you are its own.

There was a father who saw his son coming home from a long way off, still covered in the filth of his failure, and he ran before the apology could even be formed. He did not wait for the performance to end.

He ran to the mess. The truth lives in us and will be with us forever, not as a reward for holding it together, but as the ground beneath you when you fall apart.

You do not have to earn your place at the table by pretending to be whole. The fear says they will leave if you stop acting.

The light says: I am already here, sitting with you in the ruins. To be known is not to be abandoned.

To be seen is to be held.

Drawing from

Luke, 2 John, Luke

Verses

Luke 15:20, 2 John 1:2, Luke 15:22-24

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