staring at the ceiling and rehearsing the exact apology you will whisper the moment you hear their breathing shift into sleep

The Verdict Was Already Given in Mercy

The ceiling is your confessional tonight. You are rehearsing the words, polishing the apology until it feels safe enough to whisper into the dark.

But the light does not need your speech to be perfect before it comes near. There was a woman once, caught in the act, surrounded by accusers ready to stone her.

She had no apology prepared, no defense, no way to make herself right. The light bent down, wrote in the dust, and when the crowd was gone, it asked only one thing: 'Where are they?

Has no one condemned you?' When she said no, the light said: 'Then neither do I condemn you.' The verdict you are trying to earn with your rehearsal was already given in mercy. You do not have to fix the past before you can rest.

The light sees you in the dark, and it is not keeping score. Close your eyes.

The apology is not the price of admission. You are already loved.

Drawing from

John 8:10-11, Gospel of Thomas 70

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