the specific memory of the last time you felt genuine excitement and the terrifying realization that you can no longer access that feeling

The Fire Still Burns Beneath Ash

The afternoon sun is high, and the world demands your performance, but inside, there is a hollow silence where the music used to be. You remember the last time you felt genuine excitement — a spark so bright it lit up your whole chest — and now, staring at the same sky, you realize with terror that you cannot find the switch to turn it on again.

It feels like a part of you has died, or perhaps been locked away in a room you no longer have the key for. But listen — the light does not require you to manufacture a feeling you do not have.

There is light within a person of light, and it lights up the whole world, even when you cannot see it shining. You do not need to force the spark; you only need to bring forth what is already within you, or what you do not bring forth will slowly consume you.

The excitement you miss was never the source; it was only the reflection of a fire that still burns beneath the ash. The light is not gone; it is simply waiting for you to stop trying to earn it and start remembering it.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas, Mark

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