You Do Not Have to Pre-Grieve

The afternoon sun is bright, but your mind is in a dark room, rehearsing the sentence. You walk through the grocery store or sit at your desk, and the words form on your lips: 'It's bad.' 'We have to say goodbye.' 'There's nothing more they can do.' You say it over and over, testing the weight of the syllables, trying to find a version that hurts less.

As if practicing the grief will make the blow softer. As if you can outrun the moment by arriving there early.

But the light does not live in the rehearsal. It lives in the now.

In the middle of the day, while the coffee is still warm and the phone is still silent, the light is already holding you. You are trying to carry a tomorrow that hasn't happened yet, and your arms are tired from holding air.

The Father's love is not waiting for the bad news to start caring for you. It is here, in this ordinary hour, keeping your heart from breaking before it needs to.

You do not have to pre-grieve to be faithful. You only have to be here, where the light is sufficient for today.