the shame of rehearsing a polite excuse in your head while someone is hugging you, because you are already calculating the exact second you can pull away without seeming rude

Rest Inside the Embrace You Fear

It is late, and the house is quiet, but your mind is loud with calculation. You are already rehearsing the polite excuse while the arms are still around you, timing the exact second you can pull away without seeming rude.

That tension is not a failure of love. It is the exhaustion of a spirit that has forgotten where it truly lives.

There is a place inside you where no one can touch you unless you invite them, a kingdom spread out within your own chest that does not require you to perform. What you are looking for — the space to breathe, the safety to be still — is not across the room or behind a locked door.

It is already here, under your feet, in the quiet between your heartbeats. You do not need to escape the embrace to find rest.

You only need to remember that the light holding you is larger than the arms you are trying to leave.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas 3, Gospel of Thomas 113

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