the sudden, terrifying flash of imagining how you would finally breathe if they were gone, followed immediately by the crushing guilt that you could ever think such a thing

The Dawn Does Not Judge Your Night

The sun is rising, and with it comes a thought so dark you wish you could cut it out of your mind. You imagined the silence if they were gone.

You felt your own lungs expand at the possibility of their absence. And then the guilt crashed down, telling you that anyone who thinks such a thing is a monster.

But listen — the light does not recoil from the shadows inside you. It simply waits for you to bring them forth.

Thomas said if you do not bring forth what is within you, it will destroy you; but if you do, it will save you. That terrifying flash was not your identity.

It was a signal that you are drowning. When Peter began to sink, he did not have to apologize for his fear before he cried out.

The hand reached him immediately. The dawn is here not to judge the night you just survived, but to prove you are still here to face it.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas, Matthew

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