lying perfectly still in bed hoping your partner doesn't notice you're awake so you don't have to explain why you're crying
The sun has set, and the house is finally quiet, but your heart is loud. You lie perfectly still, holding your breath, hoping the person beside you doesn't notice you are awake. You don't want to explain the tears. You don't want to translate the weight. You just want to disappear into the pillow so no one has to see you break.
But the light does not need an explanation to be present. It does not wait for you to speak before it sees. There is a truth that lives in us, quiet and steady, that knows every tear before it falls. It knows the silence you are keeping. It knows the exhaustion of pretending to be asleep just to avoid being known.
You do not have to perform peace for the light to hold you. You do not have to fix your face or swallow your grief. The love that is with you forever is not afraid of your crying. It is not waiting for you to be strong. It is simply there, in the dark, watching over the very thing you are trying to hide.
Let the mask drop. The night is safe enough for your sorrow.
Drawing from
2 John, Gospel of Mary
Verses
2 John 1:2, Gospel of Mary 5:4-5
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