the specific terror of forcing a smile and asking how their day was the moment they wake up, while your chest still aches from the night before

Let the Darkness Hold You Now

The sun has gone down, and now the mask comes off. You spent the daylight hours forcing a smile, asking others how their day was, while your own chest still ached from the night before.

It is a terrible kind of exhaustion—to perform wholeness when you feel fractured inside. But the gathering dark is not here to judge the performance.

It is here to let you put the face down. You do not have to carry the smile into the night.

The light that lives in you does not need your pretend joy to survive. It was there before the first false grin, and it remains now that the muscles have gone slack.

Stop trying to hold the day together. Let the darkness hold you instead.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas 70, 1 John 3:19-20

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