typing out a raw confession in the notes app and deleting it because you're terrified the person you need most will finally confirm you were right to be afraid

The Light Stays After You Delete

The screen glows in the dim room, a small rectangle holding the weight of everything you cannot say out loud. You type the truth—the raw, jagged confession of your fear—and then you delete it.

Backspace, backspace, until the screen is blank again. You are terrified that if you send it, the person you need most will read those words and finally confirm what you have always suspected: that you were right to be afraid.

That the love you hoped for isn't strong enough to hold the mess you are. But the light does not run from the things you try to hide.

It is not waiting for a polished version of you. It is standing right there in the silence after you delete the words.

The truth you are too scared to speak is already known, and it has not changed the way you are held. The fear says: if they really know, they will leave.

The light says: I am here, and I am not going anywhere.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas 70, 1 John 3:19-20

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