the specific terror of your child asking why you are sad while you force a smile to hide your failure

The Light Sees Your Trembling Hands

The mask is heavy this morning. You feel it stiffening on your face as your child looks up and asks why you are sad, even while you force the corners of your mouth to turn upward.

You are terrified they will see the failure you are hiding behind the performance of okayness. But the light does not need your smile to find you.

It sees the tremble in your hands and the tears you are holding back. There is a truth that lives inside you, deeper than the role you are playing for them today.

That truth was there before the failure, and it remains untouched by the act.

Drawing from

Matthew, Gospel of Thomas

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