the terrifying realization that the thing you were searching for was yourself all along, and now you must face the person you avoided becoming

The Face You Were Running From

The house is quiet now, and the search you've been running for years has finally stopped. Not because you found the answer out there, but because you realized the thing you were chasing was the one thing you kept running from: yourself.

The person you avoided becoming is standing right here in the dark, waiting for you to stop hiding. What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it because it looks too much like your own face.

You spent a lifetime looking over here and over there, when the kingdom was spread out beneath your feet the whole time. The light does not ask you to become someone new; it asks you to bring forth what is already within you, even if it terrifies you.

If you do not bring it forth, the silence will destroy you; but if you speak it, it will save you. Neither do I condemn you for the years you spent running; go now, and stop hiding from the one who has been waiting for you all along.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas, John

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