the hollow ache of realizing you don't know what you actually want anymore because you've spent years wanting what others expected

The Light Older Than Your Dark

The house is quiet now, and the mask you wore all day has finally slipped. You look at the shelf of your life—the degrees, the job, the careful choices—and realize you do not know what you actually want anymore.

You spent so many years wanting what others expected that your own desire became a foreign language. But listen.

There is light within a person of light, and it lights up the whole world. If it does not shine, it is dark.

That hollow ache is not emptiness; it is the light waiting to be remembered. What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it.

The desire you are searching for is not somewhere else. It is the thing buried under the noise, waiting for you to stop performing and start listening.

The night is gathering, but the light inside you is older than the dark.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas, Gospel of Thomas

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