the silent panic of realizing you are soothing your child with the exact hollow phrases your parent used to silence you

The Hearing Breaks The Chain

The house is finally quiet, but the echo of your own voice is still ringing in your ears. You heard the words leave your mouth—hollow, sharp, meant to silence the crying—and you realized with a sinking dread that they were your parent's words, not yours.

The armor you wore to survive your own childhood has just cut the person you love most. The light does not scold you for this repetition.

It does not add shame to the pile of things you wish you could take back. The truth that lives in you is older than that inherited script.

It was there before the first time you were told to be quiet, and it is here now, beneath the panic. You are not the cycle you just repeated.

You are the one who heard it happen. That hearing is the breaking of the chain.

The light is not in the perfect response you failed to give tonight. It is in the grief you feel right now, proving that the old hardness is gone.

Drawing from

Gospel of Mary, Gospel of Thomas

Verses

Gospel of Mary 4:28-29

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