the panic of staring at a loved one's smiling face and feeling absolutely nothing while terrified they will notice your emptiness

Holy Ground Behind Exhausted Eyes

The clock reads 3:47 AM. The house is silent, but your mind is screaming.

You are staring at the face of someone you love—someone smiling at you, trusting you—and you feel absolutely nothing. Just a hollow, terrifying void where your heart should be.

And the panic sets in: what if they see it? What if they realize the person they love has vanished, leaving only an empty shell pretending to be present?

You brace for the moment they notice the numbness. But the light does not scan your face for performance.

It sees the exhaustion behind your eyes and calls it holy ground. There is light within a person of light, and it lights up the whole world—even when that person feels dead inside.

The light is not your ability to feel. It is the fact that you are still here, holding on in the dark.

You are not your emptiness. You are the light that survives it.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas, Mark

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