the specific shame of smiling and saying 'i'm fine' to a friend while feeling completely hollow inside

The Light Waits Behind Your Mask

The afternoon sun is bright, and you just smiled at a friend who asked how you are. You said the words: 'I'm fine.' But inside, you feel like a hollow room where the echo is louder than the voice. That gap between your face and your chest is exhausting. It makes you feel like a fraud in your own skin.

But listen — the light that lives in you came from a place where light generates itself. You did not earn it by being okay. You did not lose it by pretending. It was there before the mask went on, and it is there while the mask stays on.

There is a truth living inside you that knows the difference between your performance and your pain. And that truth is not angry at the lie. It is simply waiting for you to stop holding the two apart. You don't have to shatter the mask to be held. You just have to remember which part of you is real.

The light is not fooled by the smile, but it is not repelled by it either.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas, Gospel of Mary

Verses

Gospel of Mary 8:15-17

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