the compulsive refreshing of the screen to check for a reply that hasn't come

The Light Sitting Beside You in the Dark

It is three in the morning, and the thumb moves on its own. Up, down, refresh.

The screen lights up your face in the dark, promising a word that isn't there. Again.

And again. The silence from the other end feels like a verdict, heavy and final.

But listen — the silence is not empty. It is full of a presence that does not need a signal to reach you.

The kingdom is not in the notification; it is inside you, right now, in this quiet room. You are waiting for a reply from a person, while the Light that made you sits beside you in the dark, unbothered by your scrolling.

Put the phone down. The answer you are desperate to find is not coming from the outside.

It is the ground you are standing on.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas 3, 1 John 3:19-20

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