the private relief that feels like betrayal when someone else fails at the thing you secretly hoped they would conquer so you wouldn't have to try

The Light Was There Before The Fall

There is a secret shame that wakes up in the dark. You watched someone else try to climb the mountain you are too afraid to face, and when they slipped, you felt a terrible, quiet relief.

As if their failure was permission for you to stay still. As if their falling meant you never had to try.

But the light does not measure your worth by their stumble. It was already inside you before they took their first step.

Split a piece of wood, and the light is there. Lift up a stone, and you will find it waiting.

You do not need their success to validate your courage. The kingdom is within you, not in the outcome of another person's struggle.

Stop watching the road they walked. Turn your eyes inward to the place where the light generates itself.

Your path does not require their footprints.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas, John

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