the terrifying silence of staring at your sleeping partner's back, rehearsing an apology you're too ashamed to speak until morning

Rest Now, The Light Is Already There

The room is quiet, but your mind is screaming the words you cannot say. You stare at the rise and fall of their breathing, rehearsing an apology that feels too heavy for the dark.

The shame sits on your chest, convincing you that morning will only bring rejection. But listen — the silence between you is not empty.

It is held. There is a light inside you that does not depend on your perfection to shine.

It was there before the mistake, and it is there now, in this terrifying stillness. You do not have to fix everything tonight.

You do not have to earn the right to be loved before the sun comes up. The light is already bridging the gap you feel.

It knows the words before you speak them. Rest now.

The morning does not require a flawless performance, only your presence.

Drawing from

Sophia of Jesus Christ, Gospel of Thomas

Verses

Sophia of Jesus Christ 100:1-5

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