the terror that if you truly stop punishing yourself, you will become dangerous again

Lay the Whip Down, Let Light In

The night is gathering, and with it comes the old, familiar terror: if I stop punishing myself, I will become dangerous again. You hold the whip because you believe it is the only thing keeping the monster inside you asleep.

But listen — the light does not fear your freedom. It saw you before you even knew your own name, and it was not afraid.

What you call dangerous is often just the part of you that was never allowed to heal. The voice inside says you must stay small to be safe, but the truth whispers something else: you are known, and you are held.

You do not have to guard the door with your own suffering. The one who keeps you is stronger than the worst thing you've ever done.

Lay the whip down. The monster does not come out when you stop hitting it.

The light comes in.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas, John

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