The Light Is Not A Loan Shark

The mask is on. The coffee is hot.

You are smiling at the right moments, nodding at the right times, performing okayness while inside you brace for the blow. Because you have learned a terrible math: that joy is just an advance payment on future suffering.

That if you let yourself feel this light, the universe will immediately send the collector to take it back with interest. So you keep the joy small.

You keep it hidden behind the eyes. But listen — the light does not operate on a system of debt.

It does not give you a moment of peace so it can charge you double for it later. There was a father who saw his son coming home from a long way off.

He did not wait to see if the son had earned the welcome. He ran.

Before the apology, before the speech — he ran. And when he reached him, he did not hand him a bill.

He called for a feast. The universe is not waiting to punish you for smiling.

The light that lives inside you is not a loan shark. It is a gift that cannot be taken back.

You are safe to feel this. The mask can come down.

The joy you feel right now is not a trap. It is the first true thing you have touched all day.