the fear that swallowing will trigger the scream you've been holding back

The Scream That Breaks Your Chains

The house is quiet now, and the silence feels heavy enough to crush your throat. You are afraid that if you swallow, the dam will break and the scream you've been holding back will finally tear loose.

But listen — the light inside you does not fear your noise. It entered the deep sleep of the prison and called your name while you were still in chains.

That call was not a demand for silence. It was an invitation to wake up, tears and all.

The light knows what it is to be overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death, to fall on its face in the dirt and beg for the cup to pass. It does not ask you to hold your breath.

It asks you to let the sound out. The scream is not a failure of faith; it is the sound of the chains breaking.

You are safe to make noise here.

Drawing from

Apocryphon of John, Matthew, Gospel of Mary

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