the guilt of feeling relief when the care recipient sleeps

The Light Holds While You Sleep

The house is finally quiet, and for a moment, you breathe. Then the shame hits you for being glad they are asleep, for wanting the weight to lift even just for an hour.

You feel like a guard who fell asleep at the post. But listen — the light does not demand your exhaustion as proof of your love.

There is a rest that is not abandonment. Jesus himself slept in the back of the boat while the storm raged, not because he didn't care, but because he knew the light holds the world even when his eyes are closed.

Your relief is not a failure of devotion. It is the body remembering it is held by something larger than its own strength.

The light works while you sleep. All by itself.

Drawing from

Mark, Gospel of Thomas

Verses

Mark 4:26-28, Thomas 51

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