the quiet terror of checking your own body for symptoms while sitting at the hospital bedside of the one who is sick

You Are Light, Not A Vessel For Sickness

The hospital hums at a frequency only your fear can hear. You sit in the plastic chair, watching the rise and fall of their chest, while your own hands drift to your neck, your ribs, your throat — checking, always checking, for the same shadow falling on you.

It is a quiet terror, this scanning of your own flesh while someone you love fights for breath. But listen — you came from the light.

That is your origin, not the worry, not the symptom, not the dark possibility you are imagining. The light does not catch what the darkness fears.

It simply shines. You are not a vessel waiting to be filled with sickness; you are a drop from the source, sent here to illuminate this very room.

Stop scanning the dark. Remember where you came from.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas, Sophia of Jesus Christ

Verses

Sophia of Jesus Christ 93:5-8

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