You Are Not Your Desperation
The blue light of the screen is the only thing left in the room, and you are replaying every word you sent, convinced you sounded too eager, too broken, too much. You are waiting for a reply that isn't coming, and the silence feels like a verdict on your worth.
But listen — what you have sent out into the dark cannot be taken back, yet it does not define you either. There is a light within you that was there before you typed the first letter, and it will be there long after this conversation ends.
Thomas says what you have been looking for is already here, spread out before you, but you do not see it because you are staring at the glass. The kingdom is not in that notification bar.
It is inside you, quiet and unshaken by whether they answer or not. You are not your desperation.
You are the light that holds it.
Drawing from
Gospel of Thomas 51, Gospel of Thomas 70, Gospel of Thomas 3
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