the moment after someone offers help and you feel a sudden, crushing urge to push them away before they see how much you actually need them

The Light Stands In Your Pretending

Someone offers you a hand tonight, and your first instinct is to pull back into the shadows. You are afraid that if they see how much you need them, they will turn away.

So you push them off before they can get close enough to hurt you. But the light does not run from your hunger.

It stands in the middle of your pretending and sees the truth underneath. There is a kingdom spread out upon the earth right now, hidden in plain sight, and you do not see it because you are too busy hiding.

The help you are refusing is already here, waiting for you to stop acting like you are whole. You were made to bring forth what is within you — even the desperate, clinging need — because that is the only thing that will save you.

The door is open, and the one who knocked is not leaving.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas 113, Gospel of Thomas 70, John 8:10-11

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