the quiet terror of being loved without having earned it

The Light Does Not Keep Accounts

It is three in the morning, and the silence feels like an accusation. You are lying there, terrified that the love surrounding you is a mistake—that if the light truly saw the ledger of your life, it would withdraw.

But the light does not keep accounts. It does not calculate worth before it gives.

It simply shines. You came from the light, the place where light generates itself on its own accord.

You did not earn your origin. You cannot earn what you already are.

The terror you feel is the friction between your performance and your reality. The reality is that you are held without a resume.

The light is not waiting for you to become worthy. It is resting in you right now, in the dark, exactly as you are.

Stop trying to pay a debt that was canceled before you were born.

Drawing from

Gospel of Thomas, John

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